Today’s Business: 1980-07-21
12:30 AM: [First Love] just got home from her day out at Kenneywood Park with that interloper friend of hers. I’m so hurt and angry that I’m finding it difficult to say anything to her.
01:30 AM: Well, we fought. I told her in no uncertain terms that I disapproved of her spending any time at all with that ex boyfriend of hers, that I knew he had designs on her, and that she was really blind if she couldn’t see it. She said to me in equally certain language that she and he were just friends and that she’d continue going out with him as much as she wanted.
02:00 AM: It ended up that she broke down and cried, and so did I too. I’d never experienced how it felt to hurt someone so much with my words, that they cry out just as profusely as if I’d struck them with a baseball bat. I didn’t like having that power, though I felt strongly compelled to voice my hurt to [First Love]. Eventually, we got into our queen-sized bed and drifted off to sleep.
04:30 AM: Mom just called to say that Gram Jewell passed away several hours ago. For details, click here.
12:00 PM: I feared riding the bus home because I might start crying out loud. [First Love], in spite of our fight that had not really been resolved, forgot all about that, and supported me in my distress the best that anyone could. She talked to me throughout the day today as much as I wished, and let me alone too when I desired it. She held my hand, fixed me breakfast, danced with me to Stacy Lattisaw’s hit Let Me Be Your Angel, which the radio stations had just started playing, and while we danced, she encouraged me to cry as much as I needed. She even offered to ride to Altoona with me to help me retain my composure while in public. The plan was that she’d come back to Pittsburgh on the next bus. But unfortunately, that westbound bus didn’t leave ’til the next day, and she was uncomfortable with staying with me and my family overnight, during this very sad time. She just didn’t want to intrude I believe.
04:00 PM: So I alone am heading for downtown to catch the bus in a few minutes. It’s warm but gray outside today and I’ve heard several thunderstorms thumping about all day. Hmmm. I hope I can keep it together, and not cry until I get home to my little yet very private bedroom. I hope I don’t get too wet; I have no umbrella.
08:45 PM: Sister Mary Ann picked me up at the Altoona bus terminal, and during the drive home to Third Street, we talked very little. I just didn’t feel like talking much; drained from the fight with [First Love] and the loss of my grandmother, all within twelve hours of one another.
11:00 PM: I must have cried for nearly an hour, and I’m very tired after so little good sleep last night. So I’m going to bed. More later.