Friends [at work],
08:00 AM: Hazy sunshine today as I look out my home office window, which faces north and I can see the swimming pool for this complex, that I never visited this summer.
08:50 AM: Word came over email that the north tower of the world trade center just collapsed. So I immediately rushed into my living room to turn on the television. I followed Dan Rather’s coverage of the disaster on CBS news live reports.
11:00 AM: The boss told all that we could have the rest of the day off.
02:00 PM: I’ve talked to various people on the phone; including Mom, [Vee], and [Kar]. I felt the sort of emotional numbness that I’ve noticed when someone close to me dies unexpectedly. Today just doesn’t seem quite real. Hmmmmm. Am I dreaming?
04:00 PM: Being alone here at this apartment is bugging me. So I think I’ll bus it downtown. There’s a supplies drive at Fifth and Market streets. Even I only encounter strangers, being with other Americans is very important to me now.
05:30 PM: I rode the #14 bus from Red Lion and Bustleton Ave. to the Frankford Terminal, where I caught the El down to to Fifth Street and Market Street. Wow. It’s crowded on the south side of Market and there’s a bunch of truck trailers with their back doors open, and volunteers are accepting canned goods and other supplies from passers by. Through all this, people in unison are shouting, “USA USA USA USA USA!” I joined them; not knowing who to be angry at but angry just the same. The chanting stirred my emotions further at first. But then a calming sense of security enveloped me, probably due to the safety-in-numbers phenomenon. It felt wonder to be united with the people downtown in that USA cheer, even though I knew none of them.
07:00 PM: There were rumors of clashes in nearby blocks between Muslims and Christians. But I saw none of this personally, but as a result, figured I’d best not overstay my welcome.
09:00 PM: So I stayed at the drop-off point with the crowd until the weather turned chilly and shadows hinting of dusk fell long across the sidewalks. Then, I wanted to get back up to the northeast before dark. At any rate, I’m home now, and don’t even want to turn on the TV. I’ve seen enough torture and other badness today.
10:30 PM: This apartment is unusually quiet tonight. Not that it will help me sleep much. This will definitely be a long night.
12:00 AM: I’ve been tossing and turning, and I have that scared feeling in my stomach like I used to get the night before seeing the school principal. Back then, I feared being paddled. But now, I fear, well, I’m not sure. But it’s likely to be much worse than paddling. I’m playing KYW News Radio 1060 right now, and just looked in on David Letterman. He’s not telling jokes tonight, thank goodness. I’m too sad and afraid, to laugh right now.
Tom Hesley
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