More on First Love
Hi, [KC] !
Well, as the old saying goes, better late, than never. I wondered when, or if I’d ever hear from you. 
I figured that I had sufficiently shocked / miffed you with my ramblings [about First Love being gay], that you thought it best just to not respond at all. Wasn’t sure just how much you knew about [her] and [Zacca] and wanted to make sure you were “up to speed” so that we both can converse on the same page.
I hope I didn’t come across like I was slamming [First Love] for the life style choices she’s made. After all, I consider myself quite liberal and accepting of a richly diverse set of life styles and practices. Thus, as she and I discussed years ago, I really do wish her all the happiness she’s capable of creating for herself. I hold nothing against her for her choice in love partners, and fully supported her relationship with [Zacca], and told her that too. I’ve long since made peace with the fact that [she] and I will never again be involved romantically.
The extremely painful part of this though, was that she has excluded all of us from her life in any personal capacity. Now I know that as we grow and change in life, we become more individualized and refined in our desires, and in the choices for friends we make. Certainly, I don’t keep company with the same types of people these days, as I did when I was 20. Perhaps [she] felt, once she began her work [...] in the late 80s, that she didn’t have enough in common with us to exert the energy necessary to keep those old school ties alive. I understand that very well and fully respect her wishes. Further, I believe that where I am concerned, B[my first love] is walking an interesting tightrope with [Zacca]. [Zacca] knows of [First Love's] and my romantic history, and that we lived together for a time after high school. So, [she] may feel threatened anytime I enter into [First Love's] sphere of living. It may be that [First Love] is doing what she can to avoid hurting [Zacca's] feelings, and so, is avoiding me to that end, so that [Zacca] doesn’t think [First Love] and I have something going on. Not sure though. I just wish [First Love] would have explained.
But no matter. [She's] doing her thing, and we are all doing ours. Sad that we can’t communicate. But that’s the way life is sometimes. Whoever said that life was supposed to be fair, really had no idea of the concept of life I suspect. The only time life was ever fair was in your 8th grade classroom. Since then, it’s been a bitch. 
No, really, things are going quite well. I just moved to Altoona, PA from Philly. Philadelphia taxes were killing me, and the last two apartments I lived in there were very noisy – loud neighbors. Further, I’m contemplating a career change from software engineering, to freelance writing. Working on creating a port folio of articles, short stories, “Dear Mother” letters, song lyrics, and so on, that I hope to begin offering to publishers early in 2004. As you probably know, career changes are costly endeavers and since I can live much more cheaply here in Altoona, moving here for the next several years seemed the prudent course.
I hope to get to Pittsburgh again sometime later this year. If I come, will let you know. It was great seeing [Tad] again, and you too. I’m really looking forward to visiting again.
Later.