[Mentat],
Yes, I agree with all that you have said. I suppose that REBT has moderation as well. While it is noble to work on keeping calm in any non life-threatening situation as a goal, for some people, like Rich, it’s just not worth the struggle. In fact, when he started on me, I was aware of the choice I had before me – get riled up, or let it pass. I chose the former because I was just plain fed up with him. I wanted to snap at him hard for his lack of sensitivity. Where he’s concerned, my frustration tolerance can get no lower. 
I have no respect for him anymore, and maybe that’s another reason I let out my anger. Since I don’t respect him and have no desire to continue a friendship with him, the thought occurred: Hmmm, I’m not going to lose anything if I let him have it. So, let him have it was what I did. I believe that REBT only works when you want to protect a friendship. One is motivated to find alternative to expressions of anger in this situation. But with Rich, I just don’t care anymore. At any rate, I’m glad yours and my friendship has survived the ages. At least we learned how to respect each other before any permanent damage was done when we had our scuffs in the late 70s.
When you look at this on a global scale, people like Rich will continue to spread their poisons of ridicule and other forms of negative judgment around, if people don’t stand up to them. No, I don’t mean that they should be murdered, but we should make it clear, the skills of REBT notwithstanding, that their behaviors are unacceptable and will not be tolerated. This is what I hoped to accomplish with Rich at the party. Judging from his response, he got that message, loud and clear. My candor really surprised him. I recognize that these days, it’s not politically correct to directly confront someone, lest the confronter be labeled a hot-head, super-sensitive, a not-so-good team player, or some other derogatory adjectives. But sometimes, nothing says it better in response to consistently poor treatment, than the classic “F—K You!” I must say, that blasting Rich with all four barrels that night felt wonderful.
Now to Newton: I would just say that yes, I agree that we’re all standing on the shoulders of giants. However, some of those giants are taller than others. Man was not created equal. Or, at least, it’s impossible to prove with any widely agreed-upon criteria, that he is. Not every problem has a solution either. Some people will fail and fail and fail again. Not that it’s necessarily their destiny to fail. But rather, they fail because they lacked the rearing as children to perpetuate success in their lives. Without good mentoring in early childhood, a mundane existence is a virtual certainty. Yes, Newton worked hard. His own genetics probably drove him to the heights he attained. But also, he grew up in (apparently) a fertile environment for his growth. He also had encouraging peers, friends, and family, as well as resources and the ability to acquire them. My point: His work ethic wasn’t merely an act of willpower on his part, though willpower is a component in that motivation to be sure. Many things beyond his control favored his success, and I’m just saying that when it comes to self-evaluation of our performance in this life, we should not underestimate the importance of favorable conditions, and not be too hard on ourselves when we’re forced to grapple with a difficult goal. I’m trying to say this succinctly. Yes, hard work is a necessary ingredient to success for most people. But there are other, equally important ingredients, beyond our control. If one or more of those other ingredients is missing, success will not come, regardless of the effort we put forth. Of course, we can’t know what precisely those ingredients are, and often it’s impossible to conclude with certainty that we shouldn’t try anymore because of those missing ingredients. So as humans, we just keep trying and making the journey, as Data put it. It’s the struggle that enriches us, not necessarily the achievement of the goal.
It seems to me that we’re both on the same page, trying to accurately express moderate views of REBT.
Well, take care, and I’ll talk to you soon.
Tom