Today, we went shopping. First stop: The Shadyside Giant Eagle grocery store. We bought three gallons of organic skim milk, some organic low fat yogurt of various flavors, several boxes of cereal, and some bananas and grapes. After we carted that stuff home, we headed out to the Home Depot, where we purchased some new weather stripping for [Emmy's] apartment door, and I bought one green and one blue compact fluorescent light, for the fun of it. They’ll look cool in my room because they’re reminiscent of the lighting used at the foot parties. Then, since were were there anyway, I purchased a faucet set for the bathroom back home. The one there leaks on the hot water side. I’ll try to repair that one, but will install this cheaper one I bought in the meantime. I’m not sure the leaky one can be fixed. But I’ll give it my best shot.
On the way to the grocery store, we stopped at Panara Bread for a bagel and a smoothie. Then, three hours later, on the way back from the Home Depot, we visited Pizza Pronto for a gyro and a bottle of water. This is the third time in a row that Panara Bread did not have the whole grain bagels we like. I brought this to their attention, suggesting that if they couldn’t keep them in stock more of the time, that they should remove the whole grain bagels from the menu. But the young lady tending the counter just shook her head with resignation, smiled, and said, “I know. I know.” So I expect that nothing will be done. Thus, the next time we dine there, they’ll still probably not have them. Ah well, trying as we do is so often for naught. But try we must, anyway. If they’re out of them again, I’ll say something again. 
We rode the 71A Negley bus for some of the trip and walked for about an hour and a half total for the rest. Some of that journey lead us through the areas in East Liberty and Highland Park where I lived in the early 80s. Not much modernization has happened in those places since, and the signs of urban decay were quite vivid. The sidewalks, pristine when I traversed them in 1983, sported many gaping pot holes and cracks today; [Emmy] hurt her foot in one in fact. The buildings looked about the same too; just a little older. Some were even abandoned. Still though, the walk today brought back all kinds of fond memories of when I was searching for my direction in life; a quest that occupied most of my time when I lived out there. [Emmy] is today doing what I was back then. She’s searching. I hope the renewed memory of my own search some 26 years ago will help me be more compassionate and understanding toward [Emmy] as she attempts to find her way. She’s quite preoccupied with this quest, as was I.
In fact, sometimes, I get frustrated when she worries so much over her future. Yet today’s walk down East Liberty boulevard from Highland Ave. to Negley reminded me that I was once just like her; very worried and insecure with my abilities. At times when I forget that, I get angry with her for taking so long to figure out her life, and complaining so much because she can’t. But I calm down by realizing this truth, which I believe with all my heart: I got lucky when I discovered my passions for computers and writing, and even luckier when I found the confidence and tenacity to succeed at both. Also, I remember that I’m still somewhat insecure these days myself, and am therefore, certainly no better than she in this regard. In many ways, I’m still like [Emmy] in that I have not completely stopped despairing over not having done more with my life, even with my nearly thirty years of trade school, college, and work experiences. So I have no patent answer that I have any business judging [Emmy] for not having learned herself. I’m not so far ahead of [Emmy] on this road as I sometimes imagine when frustrated. So I really shouldn’t get frustrated. She’s doing everything I did to find her way, and she’s got it much harder than me because she’s totally blind. She’d doing what she can, and I respect her courage for having made it as far as she has. She’s a trooper.
Maybe [Emmy] will get lucky someday too. Or, perhaps she won’t. But no matter what, I aspire to be as supportive as possible, and patient through her times of frequent complaining that the “right” career still eludes her. This could just as easily have been me, if I’d not happened to discover things that I enjoy doing. In fact, it was me, until those interests became clear. Hopefully, the universe will soon reveal [Emmy's] destiny to her, as it did mine to me back in the 80s, and grant her the necessary confidence and stamina to fulfill it. Until then, I’ll help her where I can because I so desire to see her happy, and to pay forward all the compassion and understanding that so many people through the years have lovingly given to me. I want to give it back, all of it, and [Emmy] is the perfect person to receive this good fortune that I myself am so thankful for having received when I was a young adult.
Tom