Tom's Diary

Today’s Chores

• Paying all pending bills
• Cat duty
• Showering
• Call in any prescriptions Mom needs

Log 

07:40 AM: I awoke to another dreary and dark gray day today.  No matter though because I get my sunshine right here in these blogs; I’m really starting to enjoy this writing thing. 

07:53 AM: So, it’s time to get started…

09:48 AM: I have my first cup of coffee in hand. 

11:00 AM Working Mom’s prescription issues.  Click   here   for more details.

12:15 PM: Tidied up my bedroom; put loose items away and moved any loose equipment manuals not immediately needed in the bedroom, downstairs to my permanent files.

12:30 PM: [Emmy] left a sweater here that has a missing button.  Unfortunately, we have no buttons that match the others on it.  So Mom is going to take a button off the sleeve and put it on the front, near the top, where the empty spot is.  Then, she’ll remove the now odd-ball button from the other sleeve, and sew on a matching pair of buttons to both sleeves.

01:20 PM: Added the  following post(s) to this, the   Tom’s Diary   blog:

•  Staplers Hurt  

03:30 PM: Just learned that sister Jojo is taking Mom and me  shopping   tonight. So I’m going along as well, as I have some shopping to do that I’d like to complete immediately.  Since I don’t know when my next opportunity to go will arise, I’m going to cancel out of the Lions Club meeting this evening.

05:45 PM: I called [Lady Sunshine] to let her know that I would not be attending the Lions Club meeting, though I did assure her that I would pay for the dinner since I’d previously told her that I would be there.  She was okay with that.

09:55 PM: Just got home from tonight’s   shopping trip,  and everything is put away.

10:30 PM: Talked with [Emmy].  She was pleased to learn that we found some buttons for her sweater that match it quite well.  Mom will sew these on before [Emmy's] next visit, later this month.

11:40 PM: Worked on the blogs for an hour or so, entering the details of our  shopping trip   tonight, and categorizing a few posts as well.

11:43 PM: Posted the list of today’s post revisions,   here. 

12:35 AM: Watched the 2009-12-03 episode of   The Young and the Restless   on the DVR.

12:45 PM: Well, it’s been another very full day, and once more, I’m headed off to bed in my chilly bedroom — just how I like it — to recharge for another day tomorrow.  So take care, and I’ll catch you right back here then.

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• Mom’s Status: 2009-12-03
• Post Revisions: 2009-12-03
• Shopping Trip: 2009-12-03

Log

07:45 AM: I heard her moaning in  pain a few times overnight and her lethargy is more pronounced since we still have no glucometer.  I do hope she takes better care of the new one when it gets here.  I just don’t know how many reminders she needs to experience before she really gets the idea that keeping her sugar under tight control makes all the difference in her mood and overall health. 

08:30 AM: Mom needs more NPH insulin.  We asked her PCP to call this into a local pharmacy.  I’ll find out if that’s been done this morning.

09:40 AM: Dispensed her morning meds.

09:45 AM: I’m concerned that we’ve been unable to read her blood-sugar for going on a week now, because the new glucometer has not yet arrived.  So I suggested that if the machine does not show up in the next day, that we need to head to the drug store and buy one, with cash.  Of course, her response, though predictable, irritated me nonetheless, just as predictably.  She said in a notably condescending tone, as though she thought that I was crazy for even making the suggestion in the first place, “I’m not buying a glucometer;  they cost too much money!”  Background: She gets them for free if she orders them directly through Accu-Chek.  The problem with this approach however, as we’ve seen,  is that it takes so long to obtain a new glucometer, when we could, within minutes, purchase one down the street.   So I don’t understand why she so willingly endures the pain and lethargy we’ve observed over the past several days, just to save a few bucks. Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhh! 

09:50 AM: You know, in my opinion, she really needs to get her priorities in order because she’s been sickly ever since she ruined her other unit late last week.  She seems to deny the supreme importance of taking regular blood sugar readings, at least four times a day.  Plus, she only sporadically and reluctantly acknowledges the obvious connection, between how good she feels and how well she controls her blood sugar levels.  The better she controls them, the better she feels.  Yet we often must remind her of this, and re argue the point besides.  So, as a result, sometimes I think she’s being intentionally stupid in order to avoid spending more than absolutely necessary, for things as mundane and boring as her diabetic equipment and testing supplies.  I’m highly frustrated at this recurring penny-wise, pound-foolish attitude which I frequently perceive in her.  Thus, I need a little break; big time!

10:30 AM: Our primary pharmacy has not yet received the prescription for Mom’s NPH insulin.  However, there is a current prescription on file at another place, which is closer to us actually. I’ll just reorder one vile there, and we’ll work on getting the prescription going at our preferred drug store in Altoona. 

11:38 AM: the NPH insulin has been ordered.  Otherwise, we’re well-stocked on her meds for this week.

12:15 PM: Mom is up and about and in pretty good spirits too.

12:35 PM: Mom just got off the phone with Accu-Chek about the missing glucometer.  They say that it was delivered to our kitchen porch yesterday.  Well, I looked out there yesterday, and again today, and I find no packages.  What’s probably happened is that they delivered it to the wrong house.  You think they’d have people sign for packages like this before they leave them somewhere.  But often, they don’t; this has happened to us before with numerous other packages.  So she’ll have to order another; once again, here we have more days without readings.  Let’s just go and buy one already. 

02:15 PM: Her new glucometer arrived sometime this afternoon.  I just retrieved it from the west porch.  Also, it appears that her old meter works again, now that it’s dried out.  So maybe now, we have a spare unit for pinch times after all.

02:30 PM: Dispensed Mom’s lunch-time meds.

02:40 PM: Blood sugar: 221.  Covered this and her lunch with 18 units of log insulin.

04:00 PM: Sister Christine stopped by to visit Mom for an hour or so.  We all enjoyed a nice chat.

05:40 PM: Dispensed Mom’s evening meds. 

06:15 PM: Mom, sister Jojo, and I went shopping and ate at Chili’s.

10:00 PM: Covered Mom’s dinner with 20 units of log insulin.

10:05 PM: Mom was elligible for a free glucometer from Wal Mart.  So we now have the backup unit I wanted.  Sweet!  No pun intended.

10:45 PM: Dispensed night time meds and insulin. 

Tom Hesley 

Related Posts

• Shopping Trip: 2009-12-03
• Today’s Business: 2009-12-03 

Today, [Emmy] and I opted to enjoy some steak subs from the Sheetz store nearby.  We got the following items on our sandwiches:

•  Steak
• American cheese
• Wheat roll
• Marinara sauce
• Pepper
• Salt
• Shredded lettuce
• Pickle chips
• Diced onion
• Slivered onions
• Black olives
• Green peppers
• Cooked peppers
• Cooked onions
• Oregano
• Jalapenos
• Mild pepper rings
• Parmesan cheese
• Sliced tomatoes

Total cost: $14.78 (for two, foot-long sandwiches)

We also enjoyed apple cider that I had here at home. 

Plus, I’m now sucking on a Tootsie Pop for dessert.  Hey, I’m not perfect, and I epitomize sugar-holism.    But I do try. I aspire to eat well. 

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• Today’s Business: 2009-12-02

Yep, I used to chew snuff, as well as the so-called “side chew” tobacco.  Here are just some of the tid bits I remember regarding that horribly expensive and disgusting habit.

• 1974-04: I started chewing, and kept at it though it sickened me every time I tried it for the first couple weeks.  The first brand I rubbed was Copenhagen.  But that burned my lower lip so much that it became raw quite often.  So eventually, I switched over to Happy Days Mint, Happy Days Raspberry, and then, to Skoal brands. 
• 1974-05: Those of us who did it used to hang out in dorm room 307 at WPSBC, spitting out the windows onto the roof.  When it got too cold to have the windows open, we’d use Pringles Potato Crisps cans as spittoons.  They fit nicely underneath the beds of the day, making them, and our habit, easy to conceal from the house parents; or, so we thought.
• 1974-05: I got caught chewing on the Altoona bus one Friday afternoon.  In those days, the buses had ash compartments, located in the arm rests of each seat. By this time, just over a month after my first chew, I was highly addicted to the brown and moist granules, each about the size of a carpenter ant.  Maybe there were some ants in the snuff cans.  But I was too inexperienced to recognize them if they were there, and too young to care.
• 1974-05: We bought the snuff at various places near WPSBC.  But the usual store we visited was an establishment called  the Briar Bowl, located in lower Oakland, on the south west corner of Oakland and Forbes avenues, right across the street from the Gus Miller news stand. 
• 1974-06 –1974-08: I don’t remember chewing much during this summer.  I don’t know where I would have gotten the money to buy the stuff.  Back then, it cost around $0.27 cents a can.  However, the boys that hung out across the street at the North Side School playground in Bellwood, chewed it as well.  So for this whole summer, they didn’t mind me bumming chews off of them.  I think they were happy to see me hooked, right along side them.
• 1974-09: When my eighth grade year began, I graduated from Pringles cans as spittoons to Pepsi bottle.  The 64-Oz. Boss bottles made of glass, a predecessor to the 2-liter plastic bottles found today, was nice and big, and took at least a few weeks to fill up.  But the drawbacks were that it stunk as far away as the moon when finally emptied.  Plus, as a glass bottle, one had to be careful not to sit it down too hard, as it could, and in fact, did break, especially on the concrete floors found in the WPSBC main building basement as well as in the instruction building.
• 1975-06: My parents learned of my vice.  Mom grumbled over it relentlessly, and Dad took me to the basement sometime in this summer for a man-to-man, heart-to-heart.  He explained how gross it appeared, and smelled, to others, who observed someone chewing.  I didn’t listen though.  I kept it up, for it was cool, and it provided a sort of rite of passage, into the social circles at home and at WPSBC, to which I so wanted to belong.  Perhaps Mom and Dad got this, and perhaps this is why they never, ever grounded me for doing it, and never insisted that I stop.  Occasionally, Mom even sprung for a few cans for me, and so did Dad.  She hated the habit, but liked seeing me gratified more strongly. Dad was a heavy smoker.  So I believe he kept quiet about it so as to avoid falling into the old, do-as-I-say-but-not-as-I-do quagmire.  Plus, being a veteran tobacco user himself, he must have appreciated how strongly the cravings for it, as experienced by someone addicted to it, can be.  So he never said much to me about it after this.
• 1975-08: Throughout this entire summer, a bunch of us chewers hung out across the street at the school playground, including   the now-deceased David Middleton and others.  If not for Dave, I likely would have rubbed far less.  He was quite generous with his stash and back then, I thought of him as a sort of hero because he always provided me my tobacco fixes any time when he was nearby.
• 1975-10: I returned to school late this year, because I had hurt my leg a couple month ago.  But when I finally set foot there to properly start my ninth grade year, I found that several other guys besides [Mentat] and [Tad] had picked up the habit.  So, I now had more in common with more people.  Yep, in these early years, I firmly believe that my interest in tobacco was largely motivated by peer pressure.  Now no one ever made me do it outright.  But they did think me “cooler” after I began rubbing snuff than before.  At this time, fitting in was my number one objective, and I wasn’t nearly as critical then as I am today, over what I had to do to fit in. 
• 1975-11: I discovered side chew; a more coarse-cut, and sweetly flavored tobacco.  They called it    side chew   because guys generally put it between their cheek and gum near the back of the mouth, and so, could “munch” on it with their k9, incisor, and molar teeth.  You literally chewed it, in the side of your mouth.  Favorite brands were Beech Nut, Conwood, Apple Jack, and Union Workman. 
• 1975-11: [First Love] seemed impressed that I had become a snuff-chewer.  She’d been known to play with recreational drugs, and though, by this time therefore, tobacco use she’d probably have considered tame, my habit apparently went far to convince her that I was not so much an innocent little boy anymore.  Tobacco won me a few brownie points with her, to be sure, and in light of this I never cared, until well into the 80s, if a pretty girl saw me spitting the brown and snotty  juice into a transparent bottle.
• 1975-12: Eventually, the houseparents realized what I was doing. Like my biological parents, the house father said nothing, and the house mother complained incessantly about it.  But they did nothing more to force me into abstinence.  They tolerated my addiction.  But whether they did so out of compassion, or because they knew they couldn’t stop me even if they tried, I’ll never know.  They hated the habit, and today, I feel perhaps more strongly against it than they ever did.    Yet they seemed happy to just complain, without taking any stronger action against me.  They did what they could but knew when to stop.
• 1976-01: On weekend trips home from WPSBC, I’d meet up with a neighbor boy from next door, and we’d go into his cold garage and chew out there; even when the thermometer flirted with sub-zero temps, we both still had to have our snuff fix.
• 1976-03: I got braces on my top, front teeth.  Still though, I kept chewing, even though it was impossible to get the little pieces of tobacco out of the hooks and wires without meticulous teeth-brushing. 
• 1976-10: I tried for the first time to stop chewing snuff.  Details  here. 
• 1977-06: The two oldest boys next store were chewing Skoal snuff by this point, and the three of us started a snuff can collection in their garage.  Throughout this and the previous summer, we’d managed to save some two-hundred empty cans, which we stacked into a pyramid.  Later, after we got tired of picking them back up and re-stacking them after someone knocked them down, we actually glued the cans together.  No, we weren’t at all bored. 
• 1977-12: I pulled a nasty trick on a friend involving tobacco.  Details   here.
• 1983-11-01: I tried again to quit.  This time however, I stopped all at once, and for the next two months, I was moody and just plain miserable. 
• 1984-01-15: However I started yet again, once I beganmy college education.  Believing that, though erroneously, the snuff would lower my academic stresses, ignoring the wintergreen smell of Skoal, that long-time “friend” of mine, I could not resist any longer.  Then, I chewed like crazy for the next two years at a rate of one can per day. 
• 1986-01-01: Finally, I quit.  The third time must indeed have been the charm. 
• 1986-04-01: But the craving only lessened somewhat.  To keep it at bay, I kept very busy with my college studies and for a time, began consuming  significant amounts of alcohol as well as food.  In fact, I’d amassed quite a collection of different flavors of schnapps in my apartment at Moorhead.  100-proof peppermint was my favorite, followed by orange, peach, banana, cola, blueberry, lime, and a host of other flavors.  At one point I think I had twenty bottles around and consumed at least two of them per week. 
• 1986-08-01: Finally, I could sense a softening of the tobacco longings.  Ever since I stopped chewing, I’d have these dreams almost every night about sitting around with [Mentat] and [Tad], chewing, like we used to.  At first, I found these night visions pleasant.  But by the late summer of 1986, the same dream took on a malevolent meaning, and became a nightmare.  I’d often awaken with a start, feeling so angry at myself for having come so far down the road to beating this thing, and then having just through all that struggle away by allowing myself to chew again.  After my two foiled attempts to stop, I knew that when it comes to tobacco, there’s no such thing as moderate addiction; I’m either fully addicted to it, or I want nothing to do with it.
• 1987-04: Though I’d quit more than a year earlier, I’d still get occasional longings for snuff.  But fortunately, the worst of the craving was past by this time.

Today, nearly twenty-four years after my last chew, I’m pleased and proud to report that I never crave snuff, or any tobacco products at all.  Good thing too, as I don’t think I could afford the nearly $4.00 per can that it costs nowadays. 

Indeed, my case proves that on can quit snuff  if you have enough perseverance along with a host of other, more healthy passions to distract you, until the psychological yearnings for the tobacco disappear.  They will fade eventually.  But this can  (and in fact for me, did)   take years.

So my best advice to anyone considering using tobacco, would be to   avoid it,   because once you start, statistically speaking, you’ll probably never be able to stop.  Yes, I got lucky and somehow found the strength to quit.  I give thanks to the universe for that good fortune every day. 

But the sad truth is that most folks who start using nicotine thinking that they can stop whenever they want, quickly find themselves ensnared in a surprisingly potent, expensive, and risky addiction.  So before they realize it, they’re stuck, and they never, ever, get away.  So count your blessings and stay away from tobacco, while you are outside its clutches. Don’t do it.  Please.  Find other, more constructive and less harmful ways to gain acceptance from your peers. 

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• A Cruel Snuff Hazing
• All About My Tobacco Addictions
• David Middleton Passed Away
• I Quit Chewing Snuff Hourly At First Attempt
• My First Time Chewing Snuff
• My Last Time Chewing Snuff
• Today’s Business: 2009-11-27

10:10 AM: I’m up.  Sister JoJo, Mom, and I are headed out to Walmart and lunch (probably).  Originally, we weren’t going to go.  Sister JoJo found out this morning that she did not have to go for computer training in State College.  So, she’s here, helping Mom clean a little.  Then, we’ll be out the door.

03:20 PM: Worked the   wheelchair ramp project.

03:40 PM.  We’ve returned from   today’s shopping trip.  Mom’s busy putting away her new red-trimmed, white Corelle Ware dishes, and I’m figuring out who owes whom for what.   

05:30 PM: Worked the   ongoing power outages   effort to protect equipment here against any surges that may result from these electrical interruptions. 

06:15 PM: Just finished processing all pending grocery and other shopping receipts to date.  Now I once again know who owes what to whom. 

09:00 PM: Worked on   updating all computers   with the latest Windows, Java, and Winamp et al offerings.

11:20 PM: Talked with   [Emmy],   and responded to a letter from   [Memtat].  He’s thinking of making some extensive changes to his diet in the new year and wondered what I thought of this.

11:40 PM: Finished modifying all blogs so that   they now include Goodle ads.

01:15 AM: Watched the 2009-11-20 episode of   The Young and the Restless  on the DVR.

01:25 AM: Well, it’s been a very busy day and I’m feeling its manifestations now; I’m sooooooo sleepy!  So, I’m off to bed.  Take care and I’ll post more later. 

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• Ads Now Appear on All My Blogs
• Computer Checks: 2009-11-20
• Diary Revisions: 2009-11-20
• DJ Gig: 2009-12-31
• Laptop Failure: 2009-11-20
• Mom’s Status: 2009-11-20
• Ongoing Power Outages
• Reducing Food Cravings
• Shopping Trip: 2009-11-20
• Wheelchair Ramp Project

Today’s Chores

• Cat duty
• Showering
• Checking for adequate supplies of Mom’s meds and reordering any we’re low on.  She needs none this week.

Log 

07:30 AM:  I’m up.  A bit sore in my legs and lower back from all the twisting and squatting yesterday building the ramp, overall, I feel great.

12:30 PM: Worked the   household organization    effort.

02:30 PM: Went on a   Thanksgiving shopping trip   today.

03:05 PM: Worked the   Thanksgiving dinner, 2009   effort.

04:55 PM: Worked   Garrett’s computer problem. 

06:00 PM: Worked the   household organization    effort again today.

07:30 PM: Watched today’s episode of  The Young and the Restless.

01:10 AM: Worked tonight on adding four new categories to this blog.  Click   here   for details.   I also classified (probably) a hundred posts into various categories.  Click   here   for details.

03:00 AM: Added the   Oatmeal and Parmesan Cheese   post to   this   blog.

03:10 AM: A busy day it was and I’m feeling the results.  *yawn*  So I’m off to bed.  Take care and I’ll write more later today.

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• Diary Revisions: 2009-11-16
• Folder Sync Program
• Garrett’s computer problem
• Household Organization Effort: 2009
• Mom’s Status: 2009-11-16
• New Categories: 2009-11-16
• Oatmeal and Parmesan Cheese
• Thanksgiving Shopping Trip
• WPSBC Category Beefed Up

Log

08:30 AM: I’m up, with a nasty headache.  I really think it’s the coffee — I’m drinking too much of it.  Going to go without it today and see if my head feels better tomorrow.

10:00 AM: Headed out the door to go   shopping   and to visit Mom at the hospital.  Click   here   for more details on that visit.

01:45 PM: I’m back home.  Taking a nap for a while.

05:30 PM: Set up a temporary ramp — just a piece of plywood over the steps and supported by several blocks.  I’ll attach it to the top step tomorrow when daylight returns.

06:30 PM: Watched yesterday’s and today’s episodes of   The Young and the Restless   on the DVR.

07:45 PM: Calling [Emmy].  We’re going to listen to some of the Penguins hockey game.

09:10 PM: Talked with Mom.  Sleepy, she was, and still sounded frustrated.  But not crying; perhaps just resigned. 

09:30 PM: Talked with sister Christine to fill her in on Mom. 

09:45 PM: I’ll probably watch TV for a bit but I won’t be too long out of bed.  So, I’ll catch you tomorrow, readers. 

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• Mom’s Status: 2009-10-30
• Shopping Trip: 2009-10-30

03:00 AM: I knew I had a bit too much food yesterday; when I do, I don’t usually sleep the whole way through the night.  Tonight was no exception.  I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep.  So I worked on uploading my sent emails to the blogs for March, 2007.  Hey, I’m half way through the month already. 

06:30 AM: I’m tired again.  Going back to bed.

09:40 AM: This time, I’m up for the day, especially because the township just called.  They’ve approved our   Wheelchair Ramp Project!!!  I’ll go to their offices and pick the building permit sometime during the next couple days. At any rate, it’s full steam ahead on completing the ramp for Mom.

03:40 PM: Worked outside today on the   Shed Roof Replacement Project.  Roughly three quarters of the roof is done.  Listened to five or six Dr. Joy Browne podcasts while working.

06:05 PM: The mystery item from the freezer, this time, turned out to be a bowl of beef stew with lots of potatoes.  That and some french vanilla fat free yogurt for dessert made up my supper this evening. 

08:55 PM: Watched The Young and the Restless and Dr. Phil.

09:15 PM: Heard from [Jack].  He wants a model list for the next foot party. I told him that as soon as I receive the list, I’ll read it to him.

09:50 PM: Talked with [Emmy].

10:50 PM: Mostly cloudy day today, though the sun came out during the afternoon for some fairly long spans.  High temperatures reached the mid 50s. 

11:20 PM: Good night.  I’m off to bed.

Tom

There’s a   WPSBC Alumni Association   board meeting tonight that I’ll be attending.  My treasurers report is ready. 

08:30 AM: Journaled for an hour or so.

09:3o AM: My legs and lower back are a bit sore today; no doubt from all that dirt moving yesterday for the   Wheelchair Ramp Project   effort.  No, it’s not that I’m getting old, thank you. 

09:50 AM:  [Tad] just called to give me the conference numbers for the alumni board meeting tonight. 

10:50 AM: Filled out the township’s building permit application for the   Wheelchair Ramp Project.

11:20 AM: Made a sketch of the ramp and filled in the known dimensions.

12:10 PM: Shovelled the remaining dirt from the old flower bed outside in preps for the bed’s removal.

01:23 PM: I Had planned to walk this building permit application up to the township this afternoon.  However, it’s quite windy.  So I’ll delay until tomorrow.

Listened to several Dr. Joy Browne podcasts while working outside this afternoon.  The iPod fits into my back pocked snugly.

05:40 PM: Finished removing the flower box in preps for the wheelchair ramp.   Click   here   to see more details.

06:15 PM: Watched  The Young and the Restless. 

07:40 PM: Just finished the   WPSBC Alumni Association   board meeting.  I gave my treasurer’s report and it was accepted. Then, we discussed numerous other topics which are beyond the scope of this particular blog.  So I’ll not mention them further here.  But the meeting was productive and I do enjoy working with my ex school mates from so long ago.  Each board meeting is about as joyous for me as a mini school reunion.

10:30 PM: Listened to the second half of the Penguins hockey game with [Emmy].  Unfortunately, they lost, three to nothing. 

Partly sunny today but quite windy; the wind often made a roaring sound as it blew through the branches of the green spruce trees outside the house here.  High temperatures got to the low 60s.

Tom

This was a slow weekend; no big parties or family get-togethers happened.  Typical for this particular holiday in our family.

The cold I contracted at camp is finally gone.  All remants of the cough have left.  I got two colds this year so far; higher than usual.  To reduce the frequency of these colds, I aspire to further reduce consumption of refined sugars and flours as well as to slightly increase the consumption of red meat and citrus fruits.

I’ve lost the entire nine pounds that I gained at camp.  Current weight is 168 pounds.

Mom and I listened to the Bellwood Vs. Tyrone football game on Friday night.  Bellwood won.   Yippee!

Spent a little time at the pavilion Saturday night, watching the moon come up over the mountain.  The iPod kept me company as I watched the eastern sky just above the top of the mountain grow brighter and brighter, then the full moon emerge with its slivery-green luster.

Pruned all shrubs and trees that needed it around the house, with the new John Deere hedge trimmer and the one-year-old chainsaw.  I love using gas-powered tools.

Yesterday, Mom and I went to the park for some Texas hot dogs, then visited my closest sister.

Got caught up on all TV shows, including The Young and the Restless, NBC Nightly News, and  Dr. Phil.  No outstanding shows remain on the DVR as of this writing.

Spent a few hours social networking on the phone over the weekend.  I’m pulling away from the current forum however, because my views on love and relationships have not been well-received and produce much bashing aimed at me whenever I present them.  There is excessive foul language and acrimony, and one woman, who I thought was a good friend, betrayed me to the board by posting things about me which I had confided to her in confidence.  She also read some of my blog pieces on the board, where she, along with several others, jeered and poked fun at them.  That hurt, much more than I would have imagined.  I’d have never guessed her capable of such treachery — acting so interested in my work and then going off and using my own words against me.  She appears to have done all this just because she disagreed with my views during one discussion; certainly not a good reason.  This experience has taught me not to so easily trust people.  I so get it now, why women are very reluctant to trust new men.  I’ll certainly be more reserved about sharing too much of myself with new women now, after this experience, and because of it, I cherish even more the good friends I have that have withstood the test of time.  In fact, I told [Emmy] and [Mentat] today how grateful I am to have them both in my life.  The betrayal made me appreciate them, that have never done me wrong with malicious intent, just so much more.  I don’t believe I’ve ever been betrayed to this degree before.  So there is no apologizing for what this stranger did.  So I’ll never forgive her.  Hopefully, I’ve learned a little about how to quickly spot others like her in the future.   On thing that’s clear to me now is that time does indeed reveal.  So from now on, I’ll be taking lots of time getting to know new people before opening up to them very much.

Talked with [Emmy] every day.  She’s been very supportive and loving through all this hurt.

Talked with [Mentat] today.  We’ll be going to Pittsburgh together, and his sister will take me to the train Friday.

The planning for next weekend’s trip to Pittsburgh to our school alumni social is almost complete.  I just have to decide when I’ll be returning home.

Mostly sunny weekend except for today, with high temps ranging from the upper 60s to the low 80s.  Today was overcast with a bit of rain in the morning.

Tom Hesley