Archive for the ‘Beacon Lodge Camp’ Category

Camp Fatigue: 2010

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

From audio journal episode:  AJE-2010-01-09-14-11

Every year at this time, as mentioned previously, I attempt to identify activities that do not seem to be getting me where I wish to be, and then, setting out to change or stop them.  What I’m considering today is my yearly attendance at camp Beacon Lodge; that place that brings to mind great memories of times past, spent there as a boy, as well as some not-so-great ones I experienced as an adult.

In fact, over the last few years I’ve been undecided about attending, at least until the camp sign-up forms come out each February.  Even after filling them out and sending them, I sometimes regret parting with the registration fee. 

True, up until now, I almost always ended up going, and who knows?  I may still go this year too.  But the real passion to go, the desire that starts me to pining for camp in May or June, and saying, “Oh man, I’m really looking forward to it this year,” that desire’s been weak.  To understand why, I’ll go back to the beginning and recall why I started going to camp in the first place, you know, to figure out if it really did for me what I hoped it would back then.  Does camp continue to do so?  Or, has it failed to meet my hopes and expectations lately?  Yes, lately, camp has failed in many regards.  So the question is: Will I spend latter July there again this year, despite my growing dissatisfaction?  My answer: I don’t know yet.  So to figure it out, I shall, in the posts listed below, brainstorm the issue and hopefully find certitude in one answer or the other. 

Some reasons for not going that come to mind are:

See the links above for more details on each concern.

Plus,   [Emmy]   says that she might not go either. So, I don’t know.  We’ll keep mulling this over and should have a definite decision by next month, when they mail out the sign-up forms.

Tom Hesley

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Bad Food At Camp

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

From audio journal episode:  AJE-2010-01-09-14-11

As this new year came in, out went my certainty about going to camp this summer.  What’s weakened my resolve to attend is this:  Last year, I was doing pretty well on my diet as summer arrived.  Then, I went to camp.  Indeed, the food they serve is not part of my normal dietary fare; consisting of lots of refined carbs; specifically, white flour.  They offer white flour-based courses at nearly every meal that have lots of added sugar as well.  So when I go there, I gain lots of weight as a result.  I eat way too much, and I’m sure that part of the reason for my gluttony is the presence of these refined carbs and empty calories. 

I’ve tried in vane to avoid these foods by taking my own healthier dishes.  I remember one year we took all kinds of nuts, dried fruits, sardines, anchovies, and cans of soup as well; the Campbell’s Chunky variety.  But still, I was unable to resist “the bad stuff,” though that year, I gained only five pounds, whereas other times, when I took no “better” food, I gained eight to ten pounds.  Taking my own food curbed, but did not completely avert my perennial tendency to pack on the pounds at camp.

Yes, history shows that keeping on a healthful diet is hard to manage at camp, not only because the food is not normally what I eat, but also because everyone else there is eating it. This encourages me to jump off “the wagon”.  There’s ritual.  There’s activity.  There’s socialization that goes on in the dining room at mealtime.  So to proclaim that, well, I’m just not going to go there and eat that food, turns out to be futile.  You know, that’s cutting out quite a bit of the fun of the camp experience.  So, excising all meals and eating only the food I brought is just not doable.  I often affirm on the first day that I’ll only eat at the dining hall one or two meals per day, and eat my own stuff otherwise.  But like most New Years resolutions, I typically end up forgetting that, and attending all three camp meals daily.  If I don’t go, then I’m just hanging out by myself while everyone else is talking, laughing, enjoying the taste of the food, and having one hell of a good time in the dining room.  Despite the noise, it’s fun to sit around the table with friends, laughing, debating, and interacting in general.  The dining room is a place where people connect and share at camp.  But it’s also the place where I get into big trouble when it comes to keeping my weight down.

Now if it were just the issue of gaining eight pounds each summer, I’d probably just shrug my shoulders, suck it up, and accept this as part of the normal camp phenomenon.  After all, most people who go also gain weight, and besides, I can come home afterwards and lose it again in a month or so.  Or can I?  In fact, it’s surprisingly difficult to get back on the same track of healthy eating in the weeks that follow that I was so firmly planted on prior to camp.  Sometimes several months go by before I get the new pounds off, and get back on “the good foot” in terms of my diet.  Historically and sadly for me, camp wrecks the rituals and practices that I so meticulously establish here at home during the first half of the year.  Indeed, it’s quite challenging to simply resume those rituals immediately after check-out on the day of departure.  As I said, it can take me three or more months to wean myself off of refined carbs again, that I get so used to consuming at camp. Thus, I’m worried about attending because I fear that, as in years past, I’ll regain much of the weight that I’ll spent the first half of this new year struggling to lose.  I would have lost 14 pounds total last year, instead of the 6 I actually managed, perhaps, if not for camp.

Now I don’t mean to say that camp is the only place where I screw up my diet.  But it’s one place where I goof it up the most.  If we visualize the entire collection of my dietary mishaps as a large tree, camp would be a huge branch on that tree that really needs to be pruned, and I’m thinking now that maybe this year, I should whack it off, and just not attend. 

I won’t declare that I’ll never go to camp again, because maybe I just need a year or two off.  You know, there are lots of folks who don’t attend, every year. Some come every other year while others stay away for three to five years at a stretch.    I might just need a break. 

Will I actually take it?  Stand by to find out.

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

Today’s Business: 2010-01-08

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Today’s Activities

  • Cat duty.  DONE.
  • Dispensing Mom’s meds. DONE.
  • Shower. DONE.
  • Send out five pending memorial checks for the   WPSBC Alumni Association.
  • Pay all pending bills.  IN PROGRESS,
  • Fill out and Return all requested forms to the financial planner.
  • Go grocery shopping.  DONE.

Log 

08:45 AM: I’m up. My current weight is unchanged from yesterday, at 181.5 pounds.

08:55 AM: Sister Mary Ann just emailed me to say that she’d be visiting us this coming Monday, arriving at around noon.

09:30 AM: Swept all sidewalks and ramp; we got a dusting of snow overnight.

10:10 AM: Leaving for our weekly shopping trip with sister Jojo.

02:30 PM: We’re home again, and I’m putting things away and documenting the   shopping trip   now.

02:55 PM: Taking a nap.  Stand by.

06:15 PM: I’m back up again.  Mail received today follows:

  • An offer from Verizon for their DSL high-speed Internet and DIRECTV package for $70 a month for the first six months, then $94.99 a month for the next six months.  I’ve torn up so many of these, I can’t even count.
  • Income statements (W2s) for 2009.
  • A packet from some church in Oklahoma, inviting us to order a metal cross from them, as well as to send them any prayer requests.
  • A bank statement from one of my checking accounts.
  • Home telephone bills (Mom’s and mine).

 

06:45 PM: Posted the    Uncle Jack Sargent Died   piece.   I just found out today from Aunt Joan that Jack died on January 5th, 2006.

07:30 PM: Processed all pending grocery receipts.

07:55 PM: Posted the   Shopping Trip: 2009-12-23b   piece.

09:15 PM: Spent the last hour plus in contemplation, on my favorite bedroom rocking chair. 

11:40 PM: Talked with   [Emmy].  We’re discussing if we will in fact, attend camp this year.  In past years, our YES answer came so easily and without reservation.  This year though, the both of us are quite reserved about going, fearing that we’ll screw up our diets if we attend.  Well, we’ll continue discussing it until next month, when the forms for signing up arrive. 

01:10 AM: Fixed a bug on the   Recent Revisions Page,  that caused posts added or revised more than twenty-four hours ago to be displayed.  [Emmy]  mentioned tonight that she thought that duplicate posts were showing up from day to day in this list, that had not actually been changed during the last day, and in fact, sometimes, one would expect see the same post over several days appearing if I revise it multiple times over that same period.  However, posts that I last changed nearly two days ago appeared, erroneously, due to an apparent bug in the PHP function strtotime(), that incorrectly computes the current time minus 24 hours.  So I rewrote the code for the   Recent Revisions Page  so it no longer relies on this function, and things appear to be working correctly on that page now.  This fix has been applied to all my blogs. 

01:20 AM: Posted the list of changed or or added posts from this blog,  here.

01:25 AM: Posted the list of additions and revisions to the   Tom’s Love Quest   blog,   here

01:55 AM: My heavy eyelids are telling me that this day needs to be over now.  So, I’m going to bed.  *Yawn*   Good day, it was too.  Good day.  Hope yours was equally as fun.  Take care, friends, and I’ll catch you right here again later. 

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

Perhaps No Camp This Year

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Dear [Mentat],

[Emmy]   and I are unsure if we’re attending camp Beacon Lodge this year.  With so much unhealthy food and refined carbs there, and so little good stuff around, it’s all too easy to pack on the pounds, and all too hard to get them off again afterwards.  We’ve found that it can take months after camp ends, to re establish the good eating practices we had before going.  In fact, we’re still recovering from last summer.  But we’ll know for sure if we’re going by the time the camp papers come out in February. 

We’ll probably be there; as long as we can devise a way to bring plenty of our own preferred foods with us. It’d be pretty hard not to attend, knowing that so many of our friends are going.  Since that’s the only time we get to see most of them, I expect that we’ll put aside our health concerns, and go.  We’ll see.

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

Significant Dates

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

This is a list of some of the significant dates of the most important events in my life that show why each date is so memorable to me.  Under each date, I list the things that I can recall that happened on that date, and the year in which they took place.  This is a living document, as I anticipate many additions to it as I recall more of my earlier life story.  When other posts exist to provide more detail about a particular event, I’ll supply the links to those as well below.

01-01: New Years day.

  • Spent many of these days with nasty headaches from partying the night before.  But the pork and sauerkraut dinner Mom often cooked cured all that.  Only trouble was that dinner wasn’t ready until later in the afternoon so in the meantime, I just had to suck it up and endure that throbbing head.
  • In 1980, Mom and Dad both drove me back to Pittsburgh.  I remember the trip so well because we’d just experienced a heavy ice storm and all the branches on all the trees going over Cressen mountain, Laural Ridge, et al, were coated with a clear, glistening shell of frozen water.  The sun came out intermittently as we rode, making for quite the pretty, wintry scene.
  • In 1986, I stopped chewing snuff for good.  Haven’t touched it or any tobacco products since.  This New Years resolution is probably the only one I’ve ever been able to keep permanently.
  • In 1991, [Hane] stayed the night with me at Betsy Ross Circle.  This would be the only complete night we ever spent together, though we dated for the better part of a year.
  • Gram Hesley died on this date, also in 1991.

 

01-02:

  • In 1980, I started back to trade school at Connelley Skill Learning Center in Pittsburgh, PA.

 

01-05:

 

01-07:

 

01-10:

  • [Cher] and I spent an intimate afternoon together in 1982, at the end of which, she announced that she was going to marry [Tad] and said that we wouldn’t be together again like this.  Well, she was right; we never were though we did try once in 1988, after her and [Tad] were divorced.
  • [Emeebee] and I spent our   last intimate evening together   in 1994; we broke up this very day.

 

02-04:

  • Uncle Ken Hesley died on this day in 1992.

 

02-08:

 

02-12:

  • Sister Jojo’s birthday.

 

02-14: Valentines Day

  • Any year that this date found me pining for a girl, I nearly invariably sent her a Valentines Day card.

 

02-15:

  • Mom moved on this day in 2011 from her home to permanent residence at a local nursing facility due to declining health.

 

02-22:

 

03-05:

 

03-17: St. Patrick’s Day

  • Pap Jewel’s birthday.  He was born in 1905, and passed away on September 10th, 1977.
  • In 2003, I   resigned from my software engineering job,  which I’d worked for nearly fifteen years, to pursue a writing career full-time.

 

03-31:

 

04-09:

 

04-10:

  • [Emmy's] birthday.  Read more about her   here.

 

04-15:

  • In 1983, this was the last day I worked at University of Pittsburgh as an electronics technician.  Due to insufficient budgets, they said that they had to let me go.

 

04-24:

  • Long-time, best friend [Mentat's] birthday.

 

04-30:

 

05-03:

  • I played trombone in my first public musical performance, with the WPSBC band in 1973, in   my first spring concert.

 

05-04:

  • My second trombone performance with the WPSBC band.  This night was the first that my parents had seen me play in 1973.

 

05-05:

 

06-01:

 

06-03:

 

06-04:

  • [First Love's]  birthday.
  • On this day in 1977, the day after my prom date with [Shaina], I fell in love with her; it happened in a dream, and those feelings would follow me throughout the entire 1977 summer.  They came quickly, yet they endured.

 

06-06:

  • In 1988, I   moved from Pittsburgh PA to Hunt Drive, in south Dayton, OH.
  • Long time friend  [Jack's]   birthday.

06-07:

06-12:

  • In 1982 on this date, Richard Parker married.  I attended the wedding along with [Mentat] and other school mates.

06-13:

06-25:

07-04:

  • In 1997, on the first day of the session at Beacon Lodge camp that I attended, I met [Judith], a woman who would claim my heart for the next nine months.
  • In 2009, I traveled home from Philly by train after attending my second foot party.  Also on this day, I narrated my first fireworks display to the people on a public voicemail forum.  I took a little ribbing for this seemingly fruitless waste of time.  But people liked my descriptions for the most part.
  • In 2010, I did not travel; but stayed in Altoona.  [Emmy] spent the holiday with me and the two of us went to sister Christine’s for an afternoon of great music, swimming, and lots of good food.

07-07:

  • [Tad's]   birthday.

07-10:

  • In 1997, I decided to leave camp Beacon Lodge before the session was actually over, because I had fallen painfully in love with [Judy].  The pain came because she was not permitted by camp rules to return my affection, and I sensed frustration from her that I did not understand and accept this better.

07-16:

  • Richard Parker, a long-time friend / foe, more friend than foe actually, passed away after a protracted bout with gastrointestinal cancer.

07-19:

  • I met  [Emmy]  for the first time at Beacon Lodge camp on this date in 2003, on the first day of the camp session.

07-20:

07-21:

  • This day in 1980 marked the beginning of the end of my romantic relationship with [First Love], for it was the last time I’d ever seen her be so warm, understand, and tender to me — in the wake of Gram Jewell’s death.  After this date, we didn’t see each other much at all until   [First Love] came back to Pittsburgh to resume college in September. By then, our drifting apart was quite pronounced.

07-28:

  • In 2010, this was the last day Mom was able to walk and drive a car.  She contracted MRSA and VRE, and a diagnosed hematoma may have put pressure on her leg nerves so that she can no longer use them for much.

08-01:

08-06:

  • In 2000 on this date, I saw the pop jazz group, Blood, Sweat, and Tears perform at DelGrosso amusement park; I even got to shake the hand of their lead singer, David Clayton Thomas.

08-08:

  • In 2000 on this date, at around 4:00 AM, Cubby the cat had kittens; she gave birth to Baby and Jasper, two black tuxedo kittens, which would become affectionate and highly-liked family pets around the house here for many years.

08-14:

  • Boyhood friend Joey Moffa’s birthday.  However, he’s now deceased.

09-10:

  • My grandfather Jewell passed away at 72 years of age, due to the deteriorating effects of diabetes.

09-13:

  • On this date in 1973, [First Love] and I broke up, the first time.

09-21:

 

09-28:

  • On this date in 2008, uncle Bill Hench passed away.

 

09-30:

  • In 1992 on this date, I purchased my first home on Copper Creek Court in Dayton, Ohio.

 

10-23:

  • Mom’s mother, Mae Jewell was born on this day in 1910.

11-06:

  • Sisters Christine’s and Diane’s birthday.

 

11-19:

 

11-26:

 

12-16:

 

12-20:

  • [Olga's] birthday.

 

12-22:

  • [Emeebee's]   birthday.

 

12-24:

 

12-26:

  • In 1993, [Emeebee]  drove here from Michigan to visit me.  She stayed for two days.
  • Neighbor Brenda has her annual day-after-Christmas party.  I’ve attended this several times between 2002 and 2009.

 

12-28:

  • In 1993, [Emeebee] and I drove back to Dayton when, she refused to turn the heat on in her car for me, because she didn’t like the noise it made.  That was an awful trip and because of that, it would become one of the very last ones I ever took with [Emeebee].

 

12-31:

  • In 1975, my sisters and I went next door for a party that the two oldest boys hosted.
  • In 1978, [Mentat] and I attended a party at a local radio DJ’s place.   We got very drunk, and this was the first time I’d ever experienced severe dizziness in bed (the bed spins); wanting more than living itself to make it stop but totally powerless to do so.
  • In 1984, our family had a party at Third St. in Bellwood.
  • In 1985, sister Mary Ann and I went to the Philadelphia area and stayed with her boyfriend.  The three of us went to a night club called Pulsations, located in Media, PA.
  • In 1986 and 1987, I attended the celebrations at the K&M Bar and Grill in Bellwood PA.
  • In 1990,  [Hane]   and I spent our first and last night together at my   Betsy Ross Circle   apartment after appearing at a New Years eve party that was hosted by one of [Hane]‘s   coworkers.
  • In 1993, [Emeebee] and I went to a mutual friend’s house for a New Years eve party.
  • In 1998, [Kar] and I spent New Years eve together, first at a bar/ restaurant in Bensalem, PA, then it was on to her apartment.
  • In 1999, I worked Y2K duties at my software engineering job in Dayton.
  • In 2000 and 2001, I spent this New Years eve at Christine’s house, though I didn’t DJ much; just played CDs on a boom box, and gave   [Beetee]   foot massages.
  • In years 2002 through 2009, I’ve spent every New Years eve, DJing at my sister Christine’s garage.

 

Tom Hesley

Labor Day Weekend Business: 2009-09-07

Monday, September 7th, 2009

This was a slow weekend; no big parties or family get-togethers happened.  Typical for this particular holiday in our family.

The cold I contracted at camp is finally gone.  All remants of the cough have left.  I got two colds this year so far; higher than usual.  To reduce the frequency of these colds, I aspire to further reduce consumption of refined sugars and flours as well as to slightly increase the consumption of red meat and citrus fruits.

I’ve lost the entire nine pounds that I gained at camp.  Current weight is 168 pounds.

Mom and I listened to the Bellwood Vs. Tyrone football game on Friday night.  Bellwood won.   Yippee!

Spent a little time at the pavilion Saturday night, watching the moon come up over the mountain.  The iPod kept me company as I watched the eastern sky just above the top of the mountain grow brighter and brighter, then the full moon emerge with its slivery-green luster.

Pruned all shrubs and trees that needed it around the house, with the new John Deere hedge trimmer and the one-year-old chainsaw.  I love using gas-powered tools.

Yesterday, Mom and I went to the park for some Texas hot dogs, then visited my closest sister.

Got caught up on all TV shows, including The Young and the Restless, NBC Nightly News, and  Dr. Phil.  No outstanding shows remain on the DVR as of this writing.

Spent a few hours social networking on the phone over the weekend.  I’m pulling away from the current forum however, because my views on love and relationships have not been well-received and produce much bashing aimed at me whenever I present them.  There is excessive foul language and acrimony, and one woman, who I thought was a good friend, betrayed me to the board by posting things about me which I had confided to her in confidence.  She also read some of my blog pieces on the board, where she, along with several others, jeered and poked fun at them.  That hurt, much more than I would have imagined.  I’d have never guessed her capable of such treachery — acting so interested in my work and then going off and using my own words against me.  She appears to have done all this just because she disagreed with my views during one discussion; certainly not a good reason.  This experience has taught me not to so easily trust people.  I so get it now, why women are very reluctant to trust new men.  I’ll certainly be more reserved about sharing too much of myself with new women now, after this experience, and because of it, I cherish even more the good friends I have that have withstood the test of time.  In fact, I told [Emmy] and [Mentat] today how grateful I am to have them both in my life.  The betrayal made me appreciate them, that have never done me wrong with malicious intent, just so much more.  I don’t believe I’ve ever been betrayed to this degree before.  So there is no apologizing for what this stranger did.  So I’ll never forgive her.  Hopefully, I’ve learned a little about how to quickly spot others like her in the future.   On thing that’s clear to me now is that time does indeed reveal.  So from now on, I’ll be taking lots of time getting to know new people before opening up to them very much.

Talked with [Emmy] every day.  She’s been very supportive and loving through all this hurt.

Talked with [Mentat] today.  We’ll be going to Pittsburgh together, and his sister will take me to the train Friday.

The planning for next weekend’s trip to Pittsburgh to our school alumni social is almost complete.  I just have to decide when I’ll be returning home.

Mostly sunny weekend except for today, with high temps ranging from the upper 60s to the low 80s.  Today was overcast with a bit of rain in the morning.

Tom Hesley

Today’s Business: 2009-08-18

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

I spent several hours on the telephone, social networking, where I argued why a disabled person might choose, legitimately, not to work.

Still nursing the cold I picked up at camp. The slight cough remains, though it is getting better; slowly.

Watched NBC Nightly News and several episodes of the Young and the Restless.

Talked with [Emmy]. We’re in the process of selecting a new anti-virus software package for her computer. So far, the top contenders are Avast, AVG, and Nod32.

Mom is still in the hospital from having a toe on her left foot amputated yesterday. Talked with her on the phone this afternoon. Her spirits seem good and she’s looking forward to coming home tomorrow.

Received a letter from [Vee], in which she apologizes for her transgressions when she and I were dating some eight years ago. She claims to have found God and that He has changed her life such that now, she feels that she would treat me much better. She’s asking for my forgiveness.  But I’m not buying however.  I started over with her a few times between 1997 and 2001, only to be disappointed each and every time I tried.

Upgraded all blogs to WordPress 2.8.4.  No problems discovered so far, although the upgrades have overwritten my code modifications that display more posts in the Recent Posts section of each page.  The code layout has changed sufficiently enough that I can’t just copy the files I modified back into the installation.  I’ll have to figure out where to make these changes in this latest WordPress version, as the routines I modified before have been eliminated.

Weather today: Mostly cloudy, rainy, and humid. High temperatures were in the mid 80s here on the back porch.

Tom Hesley

Today’s Business: 2009-08-08

Saturday, August 8th, 2009

Spent several hours social networking via the telephone.

Still nursing the cold I picked up at camp. No improvement since yesterday and there is evidence that a sinus infection is in progress.

Watched a couple hours of   CBS’s 60 Minutes   and   NBC’s Nightly News.

Added a short post to the   Tom’s Love Quest   blog. Click   here   to read it.

Bought a Sheetz MTO steak sub for lunch.

Did a DJ gig a 50th class of ’59 reunion today, at the Blairmont Country Club in Hollidaysburg, PA.  Click   here   to read more about it.

Talked with [Emmy] on the telephone.

Weather today: Mostly cloudy and humid. High temps in the low 80s.

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

Today’s Business: 2009-08-07

Friday, August 7th, 2009

Several hours on my favorite social networking telephone site.

Still nursing the cold I picked up at camp almost two weeks ago. It had been getting better but seems to have gotten worse again – increased coughing and relentless runny nose. Still, no fever though.

Watched a couple hours of 60 Minutes and NBC Nightly News.

Added several posts to this, the   Tom’s Diary   blog for the past few days of activity.

Added a new comment in response to [Terra]‘s most recent message at the  Tom’s Love Quest   blog.  Click   here   to read it.  It speaks of how my fear of dying unfulfilled has begun to overpower my fear of rejection from women.

Decided not to go to Wal Mart today for grocery shopping. This cold had me feeling pretty lousy this morning so I had to cancel the trip. Will try and get there next week.

Did all laundry.

Napped for an hour or so.

Talked with [Emmy] and exchanged messages with [Blinding Beauty] and [TT].

Weather today: Mostly cloudy and dry. High temps in the low 80s.

Tom Hesley

Today’s Business: 2009-08-06

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

A few hours on my favorite telephone-based social networking site.

Still nursing the cold I picked up at camp almost two weeks ago. No change from yesterday. It is today still, the nuisance it was then.

During the evening, I attended the August Lions Club meeting at DelGrosso’s park.

Watched an hour of news and scanned a couple Dr. Phil episodes.

Talked with [Emmy] on the phone.

Weather today: Mostly sunny and dry. High temps in the low 80s. Goodness, where’s summer?

Tom Hesley